i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
