you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
