the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
