Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
she pinky promised me she was 18
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize