Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
