Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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