Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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