yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
