I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
