they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
