I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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