Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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