Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
