just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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