the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
