areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
