new low.... made out with someone while peeing
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
