hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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