Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
He? As in you personified your dick?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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