If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
