I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize
