While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
