I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Blood and glitter go together right?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
