is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Randomize
