Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
