why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
