not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
