Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
