i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
