youre lurking in front of me
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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