its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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