He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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