Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
