yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
