Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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