Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
