This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I can tuck mytits in my pants
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
