I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Randomize
