I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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