OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Randomize
