i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
