apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
