i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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