I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
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