Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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