The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize