if i can run in heels then i can drive
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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