is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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