More tranny stories later!
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Randomize
