he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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