I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
