I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Sponge bath it is.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Randomize
