I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize