I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
