My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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