i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
