I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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