is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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