You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
