i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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