tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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