3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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