can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
