fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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