why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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