Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
